Shadows
by Hesper Charm
Summary: Just a short little fic I wrote last night. Kinda fluffy, but not necessarily a romance. In the aftermath of Alkali Lake, someone has to finally let go.


It wasn't till I was actually finished writing this that I realized it resembled that one scene in X2 where Logan and Bobby are sitting in the kitchen…but oh well. It works. This is just a short little story about dealing with loss. I had never imagined Storm and Nightcrawler as being anything more than teammates – but the movie developed their relationship pretty well. I was convinced, at least. This is not a romance fic. I mean – it could be, but it never says anything directly. Interpret it any way you want, because even I'm not sure.

X-men are not mine, yada yada yada. Enjoy.

Shadows 

The halls were heavy with sleep as the one called Nightcrawler came down through its midnight shadows. The only sound to be heard was the soft padding of his three-toed feet as they hit the carpet in a steady rhythm. The only light was the floating milk-white moonbeams that had strayed through the leaves of the old apple tree outside the window at the end of the hallway. They weren't enough to light up the shadow mutant. If he wanted to he could become invisible – engulfed in darkness. But that was a defense mechanism, and he knew he didn't need that here. Not here, not under Xavier's guard. 

He was having a hard time getting used to it, to the safety. He was so accustomed to being constantly alert. This was one of the reasons he was wandering the school at such a late hour. He had not been able to relax enough to sleep, so he had gone for a walk to try to unwind and convince himself there was nothing to be alarmed about.

Besides, night was rapidly becoming his favorite time. The peace that presided over the institute when the last person drifted off into deep slumber was a relief from the constant collective ache that plagued every soul at the school.

Jean Grey was dead. She was gone and there was nothing anyone could do about it. It almost made Kurt feel guilty, as if he had somehow caused her death, just because he didn't feel the grief he saw etched on every child's face when they passed her room, or the empty infirmary.  Kurt knew himself to be sensitive, and the pain of these people hurt him, but he knew he could never fully understand it, however hard he tried.

He had not been going anywhere in particular, but approaching the kitchen he saw a light on. He first reaction was to change direction, but something made him go on.

"Kurt!" The woman sitting alone at the counter looked up suddenly, startled.

"Ororo, I apologize for disturbing you," Kurt started to leave.

"No, it's alright. You didn't disturb me." There was a moment of silence as she looked down again. Kurt stood for a moment, then decided it best to leave her and started out of the doorway where he stood, but was stopped again by the sound of her voice

" Join me, I could use some company," She didn't look up at him. Kurt crossed the room and sat down, his yellow eyes never leaving her. This was the powerful Storm, sitting here in the kitchen in the middle of the night in dark blue stain pajamas with a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Under any other circumstances it would have made Kurt smile, seeing her like that. But not tonight.

He wasn't sure what it was; the look in her eyes – or the fact that she wouldn't look at him, her hunched over position, the careless grip with which she held her spoon – or maybe all these thing combined, but something told him this was not a time for smiling. She didn't want to be cheered up; she just needed to feel his presence. If she wanted to talk, she would, he was not going to push her.

The sat in silence, Ororo head still bowed, fiddling absently with her spoon. After watching her for a few minutes, Kurt sat back and closed his eyes and said a prayer for this woman sitting in front of him. _Dear Lord, please bless all the good people here and help them to move on. And help Ororo, Lord. Help lift the shadows that cloud her heart. She has been so strong - help her let go._

"This is Jean's favorite."

Kurt opened his eyes hopefully. She still hadn't looked up; she was tapping the side of the ice cream container steadily with the spoon. He noted her use of the present tense with some concern, but didn't say anything. There was a pause. Kurt didn't dare open his mouth lest he discourage her from saying anything else. He wanted so badly to help her.

"We used to come down here at night and have ice cream, but I never liked mint," then, suddenly, she looked up. And her eyes struck Kurt. These were the eyes that might as well have been covered for all the expression they had shown over the past few days. Now they were dragging with the weight of her emotions. Suddenly what Kurt had been waiting for was happening. He watched as she crumbled from the inside out. He saw Storm finally break down to reveal the heart-broken form of Ororo.

She didn't notice the relief and amazement that crossed his face, or if she did, she didn't show it. She simply pressed her lips together in a thin smile, "I thought it would make me feel a little better coming down here," the smile disappeared, and she swallowed hard as if fighting back tears, "I guess I was wrong." Her face distorted for a split second as if she was about to cry but she whirled around and got up abruptly to hide it.

"Where are you going?" Kurt asked, afraid she would leave and reassert her shield. He'd probably never see her so vulnerable again.

"I…uh…have to go…to bed," Ororo stumbled over the words that feel carelessly from her lips. She opened the freezer and shoved the ice cream back inside; "If I don't get any sleep…the kids…I'll…uh…scare the kids tomorrow. You know, they're so distraught already," she closed the freezer door slowly but didn't turn around, leaning against the refrigerator as if trying to absorb its support. Her voice was strange – very quiet, somewhere between crying and smiling. Carefully, Kurt slid off his stool and approached her.

"They loved her a lot, you know," she went on, "she was a friend to all of them. They miss her so much. I should let them know I'm there for them. God knows I'm all they have. The professor is so busy and I haven't seen Logan in days and Scott-" she choked on his name. Instinctively Kurt reached out to her, but pulled his hand back before he touched her. Better to let her talk, let her get everything out.

Ororo swallowed and turned towards him, her eyes glistening with tears, "Scott's so heart-broken. I've never seen anyone like that. I can't imagine…I have to be strong. I can't become like Scott. I have to be there for the children. They miss her so much…" A single tear escaped the corner of her eye. Kurt reached out and wiped it away tenderly, "It's okay. You don't have to be strong all the time. I don't think the children are the only ones she was a friend to," he said softly. 

Suddenly she was in his arms, weeping noiselessly but poignantly. He held her close and shed tears of his own, for her pain. They remained like that for a long time while she finally faced her shadows. And he didn't let go. And she knew she was not alone.


End file.
